If you’ve ever said “I’m on my way” while still very much marinating in your towel, congratulations—you are one of us.

But what happens when your boss video calls you at that exact moment? Enter: premium, high-definition disgrace.

Jimmy Fallon

The Beginning of the End

Our guy (let’s call him Jonathan) was chilling. Too much chilling.

The office meeting was scheduled for 9 AM. By 8:55, Jonathan was still wrapped like a fresh suya package, scrolling TikTok with the confidence of a man who had mastered time travel.

Then his phone rang. Bossman.

Jonathan panicked for 0.5 seconds but quickly applied the sacred Naija mantra: “Just lie.”

Boss: Where are you?
Jonathan: I’m on my way!

He even added fake background noise for effect. Just as he was about to feel good about himself, the boss said the six scariest words in corporate history:

“Great! Let’s hop on a video call.”

doomed osuofia in london nollywood meme

When God Wants to Humble You

At this point, Jonathan’s soul left his body. He did speed math calculations trying to figure out how to teleport into a work-appropriate outfit.

8:56 AM: Jonathan is still in his towel.
8:57 AM: He considers faking network issues.
8:58 AM: Panic mode fully activated.
8:59 AM: The Neps decides to be a hater. Lights out. Inverter? Dead. Phone? 3% battery.

But the boss? Still waiting.

The Grand Reveal

Out of options, Jonathan had to face his destiny. He angled the camera just right, showing only his shoulders up to make it look like he was already at work.

But fate had other plans.

As soon as he shifted slightly, his towel betrayed him like Judas.

One slip.
One tragic miscalculation.
One horrifying full-screen moment.

Jonathan went from “I’m on my way” to fully exposed to corporate Nigeria.

The Aftermath

Silence. PURE SILENCE.

His boss blinked. Jonathan blinked. The ancestors blinked.

Then the boss—a married man with kids—ended the call without a word.

Jonathan sat there in shame, questioning every decision he had ever made.

Lessons From This Disaster

Let’s break it down like scientists:

Why do Nigerians lie about being ‘on their way’?

  • Chronic Location Disorientation Syndrome (CLDS): The belief that if you say you’re on your way, the universe will bend time in your favor.
  • Fear of Authority Paralysis: Saying “I overslept” is career suicide. Better to “manifest” your presence with words.
  • Optimistic Teleportation Syndrome: Nigerians believe traffic will part like the Red Sea just because they want it to.

But let’s be honest: if you’ve never lied about your location while still brushing your teeth, can we even call you Nigerian?

The Plot Twist

You think the story ends there? It gets worse.

When Jonathan finally ran to the office, sweating like a JAMB candidate, his boss looked up from his desk and said:

“Oh, you actually came? I’m working from home today.”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Lies will disgrace you, but the workplace will humble you.

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For more wild, unforgettable stories, check out The ‘Oops!’ Chronicles on Crackko.

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