Some mistakes in life are forgivable. Calling your mum instead of your girlfriend when you’re deep in romantic mode is NOT one of them. It’s the kind of blunder that makes your ancestors shake their heads in disappointment.
Let’s set the scene: It’s late at night. You’re lying in bed, typing sweet nonsense. Your girlfriend just sent a fire selfie, and in your excitement, you go straight to dial her number. Except… your sleepy, foolish fingers betray you.
You don’t call your babe.
You call your MOTHER.

Step 1: Realizing the Horror 🚨
It takes a few seconds to register, but the moment you hear her voice, your spirit leaves your body.
“Hello? Who is this?”
Ah. It’s over.
Your brain malfunctions, your phone feels like it’s burning, and your only instinct is to scream internally. But it gets worse…
Step 2: Your Mum Is Now Awake and INVESTED 🤦🏾♂️
Instead of ending the call and pretending it was a network error, you make the mistake of stammering.
“M-mummy, I thought—I was just—uh—”
You know Nigerian mothers. Silence is never an option.
“Who were you calling by this time of the night? Ehn?”
You have no answer. You can’t say the truth because:
- You’ll die of embarrassment.
- You don’t want a midnight sermon.
- You KNOW she will bring this up at every family gathering till you have grandchildren.
Step 3: The Damage Control Attempt 🤡
You try to lie.
“Mummy, I was trying to call… uhh… uncle.”
She pauses. Then drops the bombshell:
“You saved Uncle Emeka’s number as ‘My Love’?”
Ah. You are finished. 😭
At this point, she’s not even mad—she’s amused. And when a Nigerian mother finds your stupidity funny? It’s over.
Step 4: The Unexpected Plot Twist 👀
Thinking the worst is over, you hang up and text your girlfriend a cute apology.
Big mistake.
Your mum, still awake and now fully enjoying the drama, calls you back. You pick up, expecting another round of questioning.
Instead, she says:
“My dear, when are you bringing her home?”
She’s already planning introduction—meanwhile, you and your babe are still arguing over whose turn it is to pay for shawarma. 😭
But before you can respond, another call comes in.
It’s your dad. Oh, you thought this was just between you and mummy? Nah, she already woke him up and briefed him.
“Son, when are we meeting her father? Hope she’s from a good home.”
You want to deny everything, but then a notification pops up. Mummy has added you to a new WhatsApp group: “Wedding Plans 2025”. Ah. Spiritual defeat.

Step 5: Accepting Your Fate ☠️
There’s no coming back from this. Your girlfriend is laughing at you. Your mum is preparing wedding aso-ebi. Your dad is pricing cows. Your siblings have heard and will mock you for eternity.
And then, the final humiliation: Mummy screenshots the call log and drops it in the family group chat.
“The kind of wife my son is secretly keeping! 😂😂😂”
At this point, you have two choices:
- Flee the country immediately.
- Accept that you are now betrothed by force.
Moral of the Story?
If your girlfriend’s name and your mum’s name are close in your contact list, rename one immediately.
Or better yet—just don’t be an olodo.
Hey Luv, Wait. Feel More Crackko Vibe:
For more wild, unforgettable stories, check out The ‘Oops!’ Chronicles on Crackko.
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