This Guy’s Girlfriend Found His Burner Account… And It Got Worse

There’s making mistakes in relationships, and then there’s THIS GUY. A man who woke up, chose vibes over wisdom, and ended up in the heartbreak Olympics.

Let’s set the stage: You’re in a happy relationship. Life is good. But for some reason—probably bad friends, your inner demon, or just foolishness—you decide to create a burner account. Not to cheat, nooo. Just to, you know, “observe.” Except, instead of observing, you’re deep in DMs, moving like a Yahoo boy testing his luck.

And then… she finds it.

Step 1: Denial 🚨

Our guy first tried the classic Nigerian man response: “That’s not me.” Even though the profile had his face, his voice notes, and tweets that literally said, “I’m literally me.”

She side-eyed him so hard, the ceiling fan slowed down.

Step 2: The “It’s Just Bants” Defense 🤡

Now exposed, he switched to Plan B: “Babe, it’s just jokes na. I’m not serious.”

Sir. You were in people’s DMs writing essays longer than WAEC comprehension. You were calling strangers “my love.” Your burner account was in the trenches, hyping random babes like a motivational speaker.

Step 3: The Plot Twist Nobody Saw Coming 👀

Just when he thought it couldn’t get worse, she scrolled further… and found out he had been anonymously insulting her tweets. His own babe.

“Toxic femininity is real.” — Him, under her tweet about how men don’t listen.

“This is why I don’t date girls from your area.” — Him, on her tweet about suya being overpriced.

If there was any chance of survival before, it evaporated instantly.

Step 4: The Reckoning ☠️

At this point, she didn’t just break up with him—she broke his social life. Screenshot after screenshot, she posted everything on her main account. The TL ate it up. Retweets were flying. The memes were dropping. Even Pastor Adeboye probably saw it.

He deactivated. He changed his number. He considered relocating to Ibadan to start afresh.

Moral of the Story?

If you want to be stupid, at least clear your search history. Or better yet—just don’t be stupid. Relationships are not Big Brother Naija; nobody told you to play double character. Stay safe, stay loyal, and for the love of God, keep your hands off burner accounts.

Hey Luv, Wait. Feel More Crackko Vibe:

For more wild, unforgettable stories, check out The ‘Oops!’ Chronicles on Crackko.