We Made a Nigerian Try British Food – And He Almost Fainted

A Crackko Cultural Experiment Gone Horribly Wrong

You see, we love bold experiments at Crackko. That’s why we decided to do the impossible—put a Nigerian in front of British food and see what happens. Simple, right? WRONG.

This was not just an experiment; this was a battle of survival. A clash of cultures so intense, even Nollywood couldn’t script it. Our victim? Adelaja, a certified Yoruba demon with a PhD in pepper consumption. Our battleground? A proper British restaurant in London, serving authentic British food (yes, we double-checked).

We thought he’d just complain and move on. We never expected it to turn into a full-blown emergency.

Phase 1: The Arrival – Adelaja vs. The Bland Menu

As we entered the restaurant, Adelaja was already highly suspicious.

“Wait first, where’s the smell of food?”

Valid question. The air lacked the usual aromatic aggression of fried plantain, spicy jollof, or efo riro bubbling in the pot. Instead, it smelled like… air. Just plain, unseasoned oxygen. 🚩🚩🚩

Then, the menu arrived. That was Red Flag No. 2.

• Fish & Chips – Fried fish and fried potatoes, no pepper, no onions, no hope.
• Shepherd’s Pie – Some kind of mashed potato and beef situation. No suya spice, no atarodo, just vibes.
• Black Pudding – We didn’t even try to explain this one to him. Just know it involves blood.

“Omo, I dey fear.” – Adelaja, already mentally drafting his will.

Phase 2: The First Bite – Adelaja’s Spirit Leaves His Body

First up: Fish & Chips.

Adelaja picked up the fork like it was an instrument of torture. He took a bite. He chewed. He swallowed.

Then he just… stopped moving.

Bro was staring into the void. His face was blank. His soul was buffering.

“Are you okay?” we asked.

“I… I don’t know where I am anymore.”

Man looked like he just saw his entire life flash before his eyes—all the bowls of ogbono soup he left behind in Lagos, all the asun he didn’t get to eat before this moment. His ancestors were shaking their heads in disappointment.

Then he whispered, barely audible—

“Where is the taste?”

Phase 3: The Break Down – Adelaja vs. The Unholy Mashed Potatoes

At this point, we knew we had pushed him too far. But in the name of science, we had to continue.

Next up: Shepherd’s Pie.

Adelaja took one spoonful and immediately started looking for water. His hands were shaking. His eyes were red.

“Somebody call my mother.”

Then—AND WE SWEAR THIS HAPPENED—he started humming church hymns.

“Nearer my God to thee…”

He was gone. The Yoruba in him was fighting for survival.

Phase 4: The Ultimate Betrayal – Black Pudding

By now, Adelaja was begging us to stop. But we had one last meal to test.

We placed the Black Pudding in front of him. He looked at it. It looked at him. A silent battle of wills.

“What… is this?”

“It’s a delicacy.”

“Made of?”

“Blood.”

That was it. That was the final straw.

Adelaja stood up, removed his jacket, and WALKED OUT OF THE RESTAURANT.

We chased after him, but he was already on the phone.

“Hello? Flight ticket to Lagos, abeg. Urgent.”

Bro was booking a one-way ticket home. We had broken him.

Final Verdict: Can a Nigerian Survive on British Food?

The results are in: NO.

• Adelaja left that restaurant a different man. He hasn’t spoken to us since.
• His mother called later that night, asking if someone had poisoned her son.
• His body rejected the experience so much that he went straight to an African store, bought ingredients, and made egusi soup at 3 a.m.

If you ever see a Nigerian willingly eating British food, just know they have fully assimilated or they have been kidnapped. There is no in-between.

Over to You!

• Would you survive a No-Pepper Challenge?
• What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten abroad?
• If you were Adelaja, at what point would you have left the restaurant?

Drop your hottest (spicier than suya) takes in the comments! And if you have a friend who claims they can eat anything, send this to them—we dare them to try. 😈🔥

Hey Luv, Waitttttttt. Feel More Crackko Vibe:

Ever wondered what happens when you mix ancient traditions with modern social media? Find out in our collection of thought-provoking cultural stories in Cultural Experiments.