Let me tell you something about Nigerian parents: they NEVER forget. If you like, win Nobel Prize, cure malaria, or buy them a house in Banana Island—one day, when you least expect it, they’ll just bring up that one time you stole meat from the pot in 2012.

And that’s exactly how my entire life got ruined by a lie I told when I was 10.

Crackko Meme

The Lie That Started It All

So, picture me at 10 years old—small but dangerous. One fateful afternoon, my teacher told us to bring N500 each for an ‘excursion’ (that we all knew was just a glorified bus ride to a random museum with one dusty artifact). But me? I had better plans for my own N500.

So I told my mother the most dangerous lie ever.

“Mummy, they said if you don’t bring money, they’ll flog you in front of assembly.”

Now, if you understand Nigerian mothers, you already know the kind of fire I just set myself up for.

The Butterfly Effect of Wahala

That evening, my mum marched to my school, wrapper tied like a warrior going for battle.

“Where is that teacher that wants to flog my pikin because of money?”

The entire staff room went silent. Teachers were confused. My classmates? Gasping. My teacher? Stammering. Before I knew it, PTA meeting was summoned. My school nearly shut down because of a lie I cooked up just to buy suya.

And in that moment, I realized: I had just started something that could never be undone.

Fast Forward 15 Years – The Lie Comes Back

Now, 25-year-old me was living my best life. Or so I thought. Until I found out I had been BLACKLISTED from something major.

It started when I applied for a government scholarship. Everything was set. My CV was CV-ing. My references were referencing. I even borrowed a suit to look serious.

Then, rejection email.

Why?

Because apparently, there was a record of ‘past misconduct’ linked to my name.

I was confused. I had never stolen, never fought, never even cheated in exam (okay, maybe once but I didn’t get caught).

I did some digging and BOOM—THE PTA INCIDENT.

THE REAL PLOT TWIST

Turns out, my teacher wrote an official complaint about my mother’s wahala that day. It was on record that I was a “student who caused disorder with false information.” And guess what? The same teacher was now part of the scholarship board.

I was finished.

15 years later, my childhood lie had come back to haunt me like an ancestral curse.

The Moral of the Story?

  1. If you’re going to lie, make sure it’s not one that follows you into adulthood.
  2. Nigerian mothers do NOT play. Once they decide to fight for you, it’s all or nothing.
  3. Your past? It WILL find you. And when it does, just be ready to explain why 10-year-old you was a certified menace.
  4. Karma is patient. It will wait 15 years, wear a suit, and personally deliver your downfall.
  5. Nigerian teachers? They don’t just mark your scripts—they mark your destiny too.

Final Thoughts

That day, I learned a valuable lesson: Karma is real.

And sometimes, karma is just a Nigerian teacher with long-term memory and a permanent marker.

Omo, I suffer.

Hey Luv, Wait. Feel More Crackko Vibe:

If you love thrilling near-disaster stories, check out Confessions & Close Calls.

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