Welcome to the Struggle Cinematic Universe
Let’s be honest—at this point, suffering is a personality trait. It’s like we’re in a competition to see who can struggle the most, and somehow, everyone is winning.
You’ve seen it: people turning heartbreak into a brand, poverty into an aesthetic, and stress into a flex. Instead of fixing our lives, we’ve decided that peace is for unserious people.
But why? Why do we romanticize pain like it’s a Grammy-winning album? Let’s break it down. 🚨

1. If You’re Not Suffering, Are You Even Hustling?
In Nigeria, if you say you’re stress-free, people will side-eye you like you just admitted to doing money ritual.
- Wake up and tweet “I slept so well.”
- Response: “You no get work?”
- Say you’re not stressed, and someone will hit you with “God when?”
- Mention that life is treating you well, and suddenly, people start suspecting ritual money.
This is why we compete over who has suffered the most. If you say you slept for four hours, someone else will say, “Four? I slept for two!” And the ultimate ‘God Abeg’ warrior will say, “Sleep? I haven’t closed my eyes since the pandemic.”
At this point, we’re struggling out of peer pressure.
2. Main Character Energy Requires Pain
Nobody wants to be the side character living a soft life. If your life is too easy, what’s the storyline?
- You finally go to the gym, and instead of celebrating, you tweet: “Day 1 of my villain origin story.”
- You’re struggling financially, but instead of seeking solutions, you post: “Broke but make it aesthetic.”
- You’re exhausted at work, but you turn it into a whole #SoftLifeButHardWork thread.
We’re basically auditioning for our own personal Nollywood movies.

3. Heartbreak Olympics: The More You Suffer, The More You Win
You ever notice how the saddest people always have the best playlists?
The moment someone gets heartbroken, they suddenly become a curator of premium pain music. You’ll see them tweeting “Healing ❤️🩹” while listening to a playlist called “Crying in the Uber Home.”
And let’s not forget:
- Toxic exes are now character development.
- One heartbreak = 15 Instagram story quotes.
- People now flex that they’ve cried in different locations.
- “I cried in an airplane. Different tears.”
- “I cried in the shower. Cinematic.”
At this point, if you haven’t posted ‘God when’ in the past six months, are you even in this country?
4. This is Not New—Our Ancestors Did It First
Our suffering obsession didn’t start today. This is ancestral behavior.
- Greek philosophers? Spent their whole lives thinking about suffering instead of just chilling.
- Nollywood villains? Always telling you how much they “SUFFERED to get here.”
- Your Nigerian parents? Will remind you every day how they “trekked 20 miles to school” like they were in an Olympic event.
Pain is a generational sport. We simply inherited the family business.
5. A Fake Scientific Study Confirms the Madness
According to a University of Twitter research paper, Nigerians are 70% more likely to romanticize their suffering if they use the phrase “we go dey alright.”
- Step 1: Experience pain.
- Step 2: Tweet something poetic about it.
- Step 3: Get validation “Omggg this is so real” in the comments.
- Step 4: Repeat.
It’s a full-blown addiction.

6. The Official Nigerian Suffering Scale (Rank Yourself)
Where do you fall on the National Struggle Leaderboard™?
Suffering Level | Symptoms |
---|---|
0 | You are living soft life like you have oil money. Suspect behavior. |
3 | You’re thinking of dropping a “God when” tweet, but you’re holding yourself. |
5 | You think 2k can solve all your problems. |
7 | You’ve updated your heartbreak playlist twice this year. |
10 | You tweet “God Abeg” every three business hours. |
If you scored 7 or above, congratulations, you are now eligible for Premium Nigerian Citizenship.
7. The Cure? Actually, We Don’t Want One
At this point, let’s be honest—we love the chaos. If we wanted peace, we would’ve chosen it. But where’s the fun in that? WHERE IS THE THRILL???
So what do we do? We embrace it. If suffering is going to be a part of life, at least let’s make it entertaining. Just remember:
- If you’re going through hardship, document it. The #struggleaesthetic is a global movement.
- If you’re experiencing heartbreak, drop a cryptic post with zero context. It builds suspense.
- And if you’re genuinely stress-free, stay quiet before people start side-eyeing you.
Because in this life, peace is good—but suffering is premium content.
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