Nigerian parents can scream at demons like they’re quarrelling with NEPA

“HOLY GHOST FAYAAAAAH! BACK TO SENDER! RETURN TO SENDER! DHL TO SENDER!”

—then suddenly whisper “spiritual attack” like demons have ears, mouths, and MTN Family & Friends bundle.

One minute, you’re in a church concert. The next, your mum is whispering like MI5 tapped the living room.

I asked my mum once what happened to her friend, Aunty Kemi. She lowered her voice immediately.

Mum: “Don’t talk too loud. That woman… she’s under spiritual oppression.”

Me: “You mean depression?”

Mum: “Ah! Don’t say rubbish. That’s how they’ll follow you home.”

Like demonic spirits are just waiting for their name to be mentioned like Beetlejuice.

And apparently, mental illness is contagious now? Cool.

Theory 1: Nigerian Demons Are Bluetooth Compatible

Say “spiritual husband” too loud and the thing might pair with your soul like AirPods.

Meanwhile, your mum has been screaming “Any power trying to marry my daughter, catch fire!” since you were 13.

laughs nollywood meme

Irony is not just a river in Egypt.

Theory 2: Mental Health Is Not in the Nigerian Dictionary

In this country, if you’re tired all the time, it’s “spiritual laziness.”

If you cry too much, “go and read your Bible.”

If you talk to yourself? Ah. You’ve eaten in the dream.

Some of us are one prayer point away from a full-on breakdown.

SPIRITUAL ATTACK STARTER PACK

  • Blue lipstick
  • Career success
  • Enjoying your life too much
  • Dreaming of fish
  • Saying “I need space” to your mum
  • Refusing jollof rice from the wrong aunty

If you check 3 or more, congrats. You’re already “behaving somehow.”

Theory 3: Whispering Adds Flavour to the Gist

Let’s be honest—“she lost her job” is mid.

But:

“She bought Benz. Next week, she started talking to herself. They said it’s not ordinary…”

Now that’s gist. Throw in one village and one wicked uncle? Netflix who?

Nigerian culture treats demons like they’re on LinkedIn.

You get promoted? Spiritual attack.

You go bald? Spiritual attack.

You post waist beads on IG? Spiritual husband.

You say “I’m not okay”? Now you’ve invited demons into the house.

Therapy isn’t weakness. But we’ve built a whole society where talking to someone professionally is suspicious, but talking to invisible enemies at midnight is “faith.”

So yeah. Next time your mum whispers “She’s under something…”, just know you’re not in your living room. You’re live on Spiritual Suspicion FM—where every headache is jazz, every life crisis is village people, and every cry for help is a whisper.

Now playing:

“This Is Not Ordinary (ft. Anointing Oil & CCTV from the Kingdom of Darkness)”

Have you ever been spiritually attacked… or were you just tired?

Be honest. We’re not judging. Well, your mum might.

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