What If Nigeria’s First President Was a Woman?

Madam President: The Alternate History That Would Have Shaken Nigeria to Its Core

Imagine this: It’s October 1st, 1963, and instead of Nnamdi Azikiwe being sworn in as Nigeria’s first president, a fierce, no-nonsense, high-IQ Nigerian woman takes the oath. Omo, history would have been on premium rinse cycle!

Would Nigeria be better? Worse? Or just straight-up unpredictable? Grab your garri, because this is the alternate reality where Nigeria started with a woman in charge.

1. “Madam President No Dey Joke!” Discipline Would Have Been on Steroids

First of all, you think NEPA bill payment is serious now? Imagine a female president running things from day one. No room for nonsense. Ministers showing up late to meetings? Salary deduction. Road contracts not completed on time? You better explain to your ancestors.

Cabinet Minister: “Your Excellency, the funds for the new road—”
Madam President: “Are you saying the road did not build itself? Do I look like I have time for stories?”
Cabinet Minister: sweating in colonial English

She wouldn’t even need to shout. Just one piercing look, and half of Aso Rock would start confessing to corruption sins they haven’t even committed yet.

2. Jollof Over Vibes: No Nonsense Governance

You see that “sidon look” style of governance? Cancelled. With Madam President, Nigeria would have been a well-oiled machine from the start.

• Infrastructure? Roads actually built before the next election cycle.
• Electricity? The Neps wouldn’t even think of blinking.
• Politics? Tribalism? Who born you? Every tribe would receive equal gbas-gbos treatment if they messed up.

Opposition Party: “Madam President, we object—”
Madam President: sips tea “Are you objecting or looking for work? Because I can arrange a shovel for you.”

One thing about Nigerian women? They get things done.

3. Aso Rock Would Have Been the Real ‘Home Affairs’ Ministry

Let’s be honest, Nigerian women have been running things from the background for centuries. But imagine if the background became foreground.

• First Lady? No need—she is the president. The title is now First Husband.
• Presidential Kitchen? Food would be cooked on time, and no one would be stealing budget money for “Imported Golden Spoons.”
• Political Drama? Please, Nigerians have been seeing elite gossip since Fuji House of Commotion. Nothing we haven’t handled before.

The best part? No unnecessary spending on irrelevant projects.

Minister: “Madam President, we need ₦500 million for a National Umbrella Day Celebration.”

Madam President: “You need ₦500 million for wetin? You better go and celebrate under your balcony!”

4. National Fashion Would Have Been on Lock!

Forget boring colonial suits and agbada dragging on the floor. Nigeria would have been a certified drip capital! Imagine:

• Female-led cultural revamp? Adire on the national flag.
• Madam President rocking gele so sharp it could cut through bad governance.
• State functions? Full owambe settings—senators showing up in matching ankara.

BBC: “Nigerian President Arrives UN Meeting Looking Like a Full Royal Wedding.”

Nigerians: “We been tell una say we no dey play.”

5. Ghana Must Go? No Wahala, but with Premium Madness

Now imagine Madam President handling Ghana Must Go in 1983. No long talk—just one press conference where she adjusts her gele and says:

“If you cannot behave in my country, the road is open. Pack your bags, but don’t forget to drop Nigerian jollof before you go.”

Ghanaian traders? Scrambling. Nigerian market women? Tripling their jollof ingredient prices. The black market economy? Moving mad. International observers? Confused but entertained.

6. Nigerian Men Would Have Had to Behave Differently… or Else.

Imagine Nigerian uncles trying to mansplain policies in a government led by Madam President.

Nigerian Elder Statesman: “Ah, Madam President, you see, in my day—”

Madam President: “Sir, is it your administration?”

Before you say “but patriarchy!”, let’s not forget that Nigerian women have been handling things since forever.

• Market women? Running entire economies before there was even a CBN.
• Mothers? Secret presidential advisors since 1960.
• Wives? Handling ‘home politics’ with executive precision.

Omo, in this timeline, Nigerian men would have needed to level up fast.

Final Verdict: Would It Have Worked?

Would Nigeria be better today if we started with a woman as president? Maybe. But one thing is certain—

E for different. VERY different.

No unnecessary grammar. Results over vibes. No shaking. Just straight-up governance.

So next time you hear someone say, “Women can’t rule Nigeria,” just show them this article. Then remind them who’s really been running things all along.

Oya, debate it in the comments. 🚀🔥

Hey Luv, Wait. Feel More Crackko Vibe:

For more modern takes on historical events, dive into our History Reimagined stories.