Because Nothing Says ‘Happily Ever After’ Like Sobbing for 30 Days Straight

Picture this: You’re getting married, and instead of planning a bachelorette party or arguing over jollof vs fried rice for the wedding menu, you’re rehearsing your crying skills. Yes, your crying skills.

Welcome to the Tujia Weeping Wedding—a centuries-old Chinese tradition where the bride cries every day for a month before the big day. Not because she’s marrying someone she met on Hinge, but because it’s tradition.

Hey, grab your tissues and get ready to ask, “But why though?!”

The “Plot” (It’s Basically a Rom-Com, But With More Tears)

In the Tujia ethnic community of China, brides-to-be start their wedding prep by crying for one hour a day starting a month before the wedding. By week two, the bride’s mum joins in. By week three, grandma hops in too. Before long, it’s a full-blown family sob-fest.

Imagine rolling up to your house and finding three generations weeping like they’ve just been told Detty December has been cancelled.

This isn’t casual sniffling either. We’re talking full-on Ugly Cry 101—wailing, lamenting, and shedding enough tears to fill a swimming pool. And get this: They’re not even sad! They’re crying for joy, gratitude, and to show how much they’ll miss the bride. It’s basically an extreme way of saying, “Girl, we’re happy for you, but we’re also gonna miss you bad.”

sobbing gif

Nigerian Parent Reactions to This Madness

Your mum:
“So you’re telling me the bride is crying before the marriage? Ahn ahn, is she seeing the future?”

Your dad:
“All this crying and no one has even paid bride price yet? Abeg, who’s consoling who?”

And honestly, they have a point. In Nigeria, if you’re crying before your wedding, your aunties are already shouting “God forbid!”

The “Technique” (Because Crying is Apparently an Art Form)

This isn’t freestyle sobbing, oh! There’s technique involved. The bride’s tears are supposed to follow a pattern—sometimes soft and poetic, other times dramatic, like she’s auditioning for a Nollywood blockbuster. The more expressive your crying, the more respect you get.

Imagine getting ratings based on your ability to cry on command. Oscars? Please. These brides are the real MVPs.

Why Do They Even Do This?

The origins of this tradition go way back. The crying is meant to honor the bride’s family, express how bittersweet it is to leave them, and ward off bad vibes for the future. Basically, it’s the OG way of saying, “I love you guys, but it’s time to move on… with dramatic flair.”

Would This Work in Nigeria?

Imagine trying this at a Nigerian wedding. The bride starts crying, and before long, her mum is yelling, “Who did this to you?!” Uncles are pacing the room, ready to fight imaginary enemies, and the DJ’s already playing “Yemisi o, olo olo” to lighten the mood.

Moral of the Story

In some cultures, wedding prep means squats and skincare. In others, it means weeping like you’ve just seen your second semester CGPA. Different strokes for different folks, but one thing’s for sure: If you’re crying before your wedding, make sure it’s because of tradition, not because your partner still says “Good morning dear” in texts.

More Hilarity Awaits:

  1. Feeling snack-deprived? Check out our Ultimate Cringe stories for fails that’ll make you feel better about your life.
  2. Think you’ve got it bad? Dive into our Oops! Chronicles — because things could always get worse.
  3. Hungry for more Naija humor? Our Cultural Experiments section is peppered with laughs (and maybe literal pepper).

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