Sunday mornings in Nigerian homes are not for the faint of heart. If you’ve survived one, congratulations, you’re ready for a Netflix drama audition.

From bathroom wars to last-minute fashion chaos, the Holy Spirit may guide the family to church, but not without some wahala first. Buckle up for this wild ride through every Nigerian family’s Sunday ritual.

Jimmy Fallon

Scene 1: The Bathroom Olympics

The day starts with a loud “Why are you still sleeping?! It’s 6 a.m.!” Your mom has been up since 4 a.m., singing hymns like she’s headlining The Experience. Meanwhile, the bathroom is a war zone:

  • Firstborns think they own the water heater.
  • Middle children are busy fighting for a bucket.
  • Lastborns? Forget it—they’ll get the leftovers.

By the time NEPA takes light, someone’s shouting, “Who used the last drop of water?! Am I supposed to rinse with prayers?!”

Scene 2: Wardrobe Drama

Ah, Sunday fashion—the real battlefield.

  • Your mom is screaming about her gele not “sitting well.”
  • Your dad is wearing the same buba he’s rocked since 2017, saying, “It’s the anointing that matters.”
  • Meanwhile, you’re ironing your one ‘church outfit,’ praying NEPA won’t disgrace you. When the light goes off mid-press, all you can say is: “God, abeg.”

Pro Tip: If you’re not careful, your mom will recycle last week’s aso ebi story as “Testimony Time” in church.

Scene 3: Breakfast Wahala

Here’s where the real drama begins—Sunday food. Akamu is the unofficial MVP, but there’s always that one person who’s like, “Can’t we eat Indomie instead?” Your mom will reply, “Is it noodles you’ll present to your in-laws in the future?!”

Meanwhile, someone is hoarding moin moin like their life depends on it, and the lastborn is caught eating bread directly from the loaf. Your dad? He’s sipping tea like the world isn’t on fire.

Hidden Gem:
A mock horoscope: “Gemini: You’ll get the last piece of bread today, but only if you run faster than your siblings.”

Scene 4: The Great Church Escape

You finally pile into the car—late, of course. Your dad, who’s always talking about “African time,” is honking like it’s the Rapture. On the way, someone will realize they forgot their Bible. Guess who has to turn back? Exactly.

And let’s not forget the Sunday Side-Eyes:

  • Your mom throwing daggers at you during the sermon for checking Instagram.
  • The usher who pretends not to see you sneaking in late.
  • That one auntie who will ask, “When are you getting married?” during offering time.

Scene 5: Post-Church Food Glory

The best part of Sunday mornings is… Sunday afternoons. The scent of jollof rice fills the air, accompanied by fried plantain and the occasional stew with chicken. Everyone’s waiting for the food to be ready, but someone will sneak a taste, and your mom will yell, “It’s not even blessed yet!”

Sunday Morning Bingo
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Let’s play a game. Tick off as many as you can:

Mock Horoscope for Nigerian Sunday Mornings

  • Leo: You’ll slay your outfit, but your mom will still find a problem with it.
  • Virgo: You’ll fight for the bathroom and lose. Set an alarm next time.
  • Taurus: You’ll sneak the last piece of moin moin—at great personal risk.
  • Gemini: You’ll get the last piece of bread today, but only if you run faster than your siblings.
  • Pisces: The Holy Spirit will move, but so will your hunger pangs during the sermon.

Final Thoughts

Sunday mornings in Nigerian homes aren’t just a routine—they’re a whole reality TV show waiting to happen. Share this with your friends and let them know: We’re all in this chaotic boat together.

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