You’re sprawled out on your couch, chewing chin-chin, half-swiping Snapchat stories. Somewhere, a person in two hoodies and a folding chair is outside, shivering, holding your spot in line for concert tickets. They’ve been there since 2 AM, battling cold air, hunger, and their own life choices, so you don’t have to.

Meet the Professional Line-Waiter — yes, this is a real job. And no, they’re not mad at you (well, not that mad). They’re the heroes we never knew we needed.

“You Mean People Pay for This?”

Oh, absolutely. For the price of a decent amala and goat meat combo, you can skip the suffering.

  • Wanna snag limited-edition sneakers?
  • Need tickets to Burna Boy’s sold-out concert?
  • Desperate to get your child into the “best” primary school?

They do the waiting. You do the winning.

The Line-Waiting Starter Pack

Professional line-waiters come loaded. Think:

  • Foldable Chairs – Because knees are not made for standing 6 hours straight.
  • Snacks – Gala and La Casera, obviously.
  • Power Banks – Scrolling through Twitter is essential.
  • Blanket – Because when you’re stuck in a cold line, even vibes won’t keep you warm.

It’s a Full-Blown Survival Sport

This isn’t child’s play. There are wars in these lines. Rival line-waiters throwing side-eye like javelins. Aunties cutting in line with the confidence of a bank alert. There’s drama, passive-aggressive comments, and the occasional folding-chair fight.

Because standing in line for 8 hours is one thing. Standing in line while someone’s uncle tries to “just squeeze through” is warfare.

Who Hires These People Anyway?

You’d think it’s only for tech bros or rich kids. Nope. Everyone from hypebeasts to hardworking Nigerians with “no time for nonsense” are in on this. If your cousin is suddenly showing up with exclusive concert tickets and fresh kicks but never seems stressed — guess what? They outsourced the suffering.

Could You Do This Job?

Let’s test your spirit:

  • Can you stand for hours without your knees sending you a “we need to talk” text?
  • Are you okay with people treating you like a human bookmark?
  • Is your bladder game stronger than your hustle?

If yes, congrats! You just found your side hustle. If not, you’re probably better off paying someone to endure it for you.

In Conclusion: Is This the Wildest Job Ever?

Maybe not. But it’s definitely Top 5 in the list of “Things That Sound Fake but Aren’t.” Next time you’re trapped in a never-ending JAMB registration line or the queue at Shoprite during Christmas — remember: someone is getting paid for this.

And they might just be the smartest people in the room.

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Unreal Jobs

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