If you think your job is stressful, wait till you hear about Mosquito Man. While you’re busy dodging malaria like your landlord’s calls, this guy is out here offering his body to mosquitoes—for money.

Meet Jide “Mosquito Bait” Olanrewaju, a human guinea pig for malaria research. His entire job is to sit in a room full of mosquitoes and let them feast on his blood while scientists take notes like it’s an episode of Big Brother Naija. And the craziest part? He’s cashing out.

How Much Are They Paying?

Jide earns $3,000 per month (that’s roughly ₦4.5 million) to get bitten repeatedly in the name of science. For context, that’s enough money to rent a duplex in Lekki, buy 14 bags of rice, and still afford therapy for his PTSD from mosquito bites.

His job description? “Allow mosquitoes to bite you. Don’t scratch. Don’t cry. Don’t die.”

Here’s how the process works:

  • They release 200 lab-grown mosquitoes into an enclosure. (At this point, even NEPA has left the chat.)
  • Jide enters and sits calmly while they land on him like he’s the last jollof at a wedding.
  • Scientists record how long it takes before he loses his mind.
  • He gets paid based on the number of bites, swelling, and how dramatic his suffering looks on camera.

Some of his biggest achievements:

  • Broke the lab record for “Most Mosquito Bites in One Sitting” (134 bites in 10 minutes—omo, give this guy national honors!)
  • Went viral after he slapped a mosquito mid-experiment and got fined for “scientific interference.”
  • Once got mistaken for a “Yahoo Plus” guy because of all the weird bite marks on his body.

The Moment Jide Almost Quit

One night, Jide woke up and realized the mosquito bites on his body had formed Yoruba tribal marks. He checked the mirror and saw his reflection whisper, “Omo, it’s time to go.” Scientists were shocked when he started speaking fluent Mosquito Language in his sleep.

But the final straw? The mosquitoes started ignoring other test subjects and chasing him outside the lab. People in Lagos began noticing, “Why is this one always running?” Even mosquitoes at home started breaking through mosquito nets to find him.

Is This a Real Hustle or Just Advanced Suffering?

Nigerians are divided on whether Jide is a genius or just doing Yahoo Yahoo with his immune system. Let’s weigh the pros and cons:

✅ Reasons Why This Job is a Cheat Code:

  • No stress—just sit down and let mosquitoes do buffet.
  • Steady income (your salary no go shake even if Tinubu talks).
  • No boss yelling at you (except the scientists telling you not to scratch your body like you stole meat from the pot).

❌ Reasons Why This Job is Madness:

  • You are actively volunteering for malaria.
  • There’s no HMO for this kind of wahala.
  • Your future kids might inherit mosquito PTSD.

Would This Work in Nigeria?

🚀 Why It Would Be a Hit:

  • The economy is already biting—what’s a few extra mosquito bites?
  • Nigerians love easy money. If we can do TikTok challenges for free, why not get paid to suffer?
  • Some boys will even flex it in their CV: “Certified Mosquito Magnet | Blood Donor (Unwilling) | 10+ Years Experience in Endurance.”

🚨 Why It Might Flop:

  • Nigerian mosquitoes don’t play. Lab mosquitoes are small boys compared to the ones in Ajegunle that bite through jeans.
  • EFCC might raid the lab thinking it’s Yahoo Plus.
  • Your village people might see it as a golden opportunity and reinforce their jazz.

What’s Next for Jide?

Rumor has it, Jide is launching an online course: 🔥 “How to Make Millions from Mosquitoes Without Dying” 🔥 “Blood Money 101 (The Legal Way)” 🔥 “How to Build Mosquito Immunity and Impress Your Village People”

Meanwhile, Nigerian Twitter is already fighting over him:

😂 @SapaKing: “Forget tech jobs, na mosquito industry sure pass. Where dem dey recruit??”

🤡 @MosquitoNemesis: “This guy is risking his life. What if one mosquito carry ancestral malaria from the time of Lord Lugard?”

💀 @JapaByForce: “₦4.5M a month? Omo, where is the application form? My blood is fresh!”

At this rate, Jide might just become the richest man in Nigeria—all thanks to mosquitoes. But until then, if you see a guy with suspicious bite marks all over his body laughing at your 9-5 hustle, just know—it’s strictly business. 🚀

UPDATE: The mosquitoes in the lab have started evolving. One of them, codenamed “Baba Rugged,” has developed resistance to all repellents and now bites with spiritual accuracy. Jide has gone missing. Scientists suspect Baba Rugged has started an uprising. Stay tuned.

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