10 Nigerians Shared Their First Date Fails, and OMG, We’re Speechless

First dates are supposed to be magical—a little awkward but full of possibility. But in Nigeria? They’re a minefield of potential disasters, where even “just vibes” can take you straight to the Emergency Room of Embarrassment.

We spoke to Nigerians who shared their absolute worst first date fails, and let’s just say, if you’ve been there, we’re sending hugs.

1. The NEPA Blackout That Turned Into a Horror Movie

“We went to a restaurant, and everything was going fine. Then NEPA struck. I’m talking pitch-black darkness. Someone screamed, and I thought it was my date—NOPE. It was me. Turns out, I’m afraid of the dark.”

Editor’s Note: The real MVP here is whoever didn’t faint when the bill came.

2. Food Poisoning? Don’t Kill Me, Please!

“He took me to this bukka, and I was trying to be humble because I didn’t want him to think I was high maintenance. The food was… okay. But two hours later? My stomach was doing gbim gbim. I ran to the bathroom so many times, I didn’t realize I left my wig on the sink. He just stared at me in shock.”

Editor’s Note: If your date doesn’t laugh at your wigless face, is it even true love?

3. Surprise Third Wheel? Who Invited You?!

“He said, ‘Oh, my friend will join us later.’ I thought it was a joke. Ten minutes in, the guy showed up, ordered suya and drinks, and said, ‘Wow, you two look cute.’ I’ve never wanted to vanish so badly.”

4. The Uber Ride From Hell

“I was running late, so I booked an Uber for both of us. When I picked him up, he said, ‘Wait, let me quickly stop at my guy’s place.’ My jaw dropped. I canceled the ride, dropped him off, and took myself home.”

Editor’s Note: When in doubt, prioritize soft life.

5. When the Menu Was the Enemy

“The waiter came and handed me the menu. I was like, ‘Wow, this looks fancy.’ Then I checked the prices and wanted to cry. I whispered to him, ‘Are we splitting this?’ He said, ‘I thought you’d cover it.’ I left him there.”

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6. Allergic to the Date

“We went to eat seafood. I told him I was allergic, but he was like, ‘Just try it—it’s fresh.’ I ended the date in a hospital bed, and he still asked if we could split the bill.”

Editor’s Note: We’re allergic to this audacity.

7. The Social Media Disaster

“Before the date, he sent me an Instagram post that said, ‘Ladies, bring your wallet.’ I laughed, thinking it was a joke. Ghen Ghen: It wasn’t.”

8. The “Soft Life” Plot Twist

“He hyped up this expensive restaurant, so I dressed to kill. When we got there, he whispered, ‘Let’s just sit in the lounge and take pictures. We can eat at home.’ I’ve never blocked someone so fast in my life.”

9. The Tech Fail and Rain—The Tag Team From Hell

“We were in his car watching as the rain began to fall, then his car window suddenly stopped working. I couldn’t wind my window back up. I spent the date soaked like a wet cat.”

Editor’s Note: In this economy, the real MVP is functioning power windows.

10. The Wig Snatcher

“We were laughing, and he reached out to ‘fix’ my wig. It came off. I thought I’d die of embarrassment. He just said, ‘Oh, I thought it was your real hair.’”

A Final Thought:

If you’ve survived a Nigerian first date, congratulations—you’ve officially unlocked a new level of resilience. First dates may be risky business, but hey, at least you’ll leave with a story to laugh—or cry—about later.

Editor’s Note: Got a first-date disaster story? Share it in the comments. We’re dying to hear it!