They say the airport is a place of hustle, organized chaos, and overpriced bottled water. But for me, that day, it was a battlefield. A battlefield where my brain’s Wi-Fi was out, my common sense had 1% battery, and the universe decided to prank me like it was April Fool’s Day in December.
My flight was at 5 PM. International. Lagos to London. Big stakes. Missing it wasn’t an option. I had ONE job: get to the airport on time. But there’s this thing my brain does. It’s called “selective amnesia.” It’s when your brain casually forgets you have responsibilities and convinces you it’s totally fine to watch just one more episode of your favorite show.
So there I was, at 3 PM, in my PJs, crumbs of plantain chips everywhere, laughing at memes like I didn’t have an international flight in TWO HOURS.
My phone buzzed.
Airline Notification: “Boarding starts in 90 minutes.”
I blinked. My brain processed this information in slow motion.
“Wait… 90 minutes? That’s, like… an hour and a half?”
And then it hit me.
OH MY DAYS.
I shot up from the couch. The plantain chips scattered like my hopes and dreams. I was suddenly the main character in an action movie, except instead of fighting bad guys, I was fighting the consequences of my own procrastination.
3:15 PM
I sprinted to my room. The suitcase was open, half-packed. It looked like a Tornado vs. Balogun Market. Socks with no pair. Shirts that were definitely not mine. A toothpaste tube without a cap. I shoved everything in. My strategy?
“Hope for the Best, Pack Like a Mess.”
I grabbed my passport. My heart was pounding so fast, it could’ve been a TikTok dance trend. I glanced at the clock: 3:20 PM.
The Uber Ride Madness
I called a ride-share.
The app said: “Your driver is 10 minutes away.”
“Ten minutes?! Bro, I don’t have ten SECONDS!”
But what was I gonna do, sprout wings and fly?
When the driver finally arrived, I practically dove into the car.
“Airport, please! Fast! Like, ‘I’m in a Fast & Furious movie’ fast… ABEG!”
The driver looked back, nodded solemnly, and said, “No wahala.”
He hit the gas.
And then we hit TRAFFIC.
Lagos Traffic: The Villain
Of course.
The universe was playing chess, and I was losing badly. Cars were lined up like they were waiting for concert tickets. My forehead was sweating. My palms were sweating. My life decisions were sweating.
I stared out the window, silently pleading with the traffic gods.
“Abeg, just one miracle. I’ll never watch another meme compilation again. Okay, that’s a lie. But still!”
4:25 PM: Terminal Dash
We finally screeched to a stop at the terminal. I threw cash at the driver like I was making it rain at a Yoruba wedding.
I bolted inside. The security line was longer than a Yaba bus queue on Monday morning. My anxiety was breakdancing.
I did that awkward shuffle-dance where you try to look calm but you’re basically vibrating. Finally, I got to the front.
Security Guy: “Any liquids?”
Me, thinking of the half-empty bottle of Fanta in my bag: “Uh, no?”
The scanner beeped. My bag got pulled aside.
Of course, they found the Fanta.
“Sir, you can’t take this.”
“Please, just throw it out! I have a plane to catch, and my dignity is already on life support.”
Final Call
They were making the FINAL CALL announcement.
My lungs were on fire. My legs were jelly. I was wheezing like a broken generator.
I burst into the gate, panting.
The flight attendant gave me a look that said, “Oga, really?”
But she scanned my boarding pass.
I walked onto that plane, sweatier than a cold bottle of Coke in the sun. I slumped into my seat, my heart finally slowing down.
I made it.
Barely.
This Close Call story reminds us of “How Naija Life Be Playing Hide and Seek With Destiny“
The Text from Mom
I took a deep breath. My phone buzzed.
It was a text from my mom:
“Hope you’re at the airport already! Safe flight, darling.”
I smiled and typed back:
“Yeah, no worries! I was super early.”
Because some lies are for survival.
Moral of the Story:
Don’t trust your brain. And maybe… pack the night before.
But who am I kidding? I’m gonna do this again next time.
Because I’m living life on airplane mode.
And it’s kinda thrilling.
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