Crackko Exclusive Interview: A Chaotic Confession

Interviewer: Welcome to Crackko Confessions, where we dig into the most unbelievable stories, straight from the streets of Naija! Today, we’re sitting down with Amaka (not her real name, because “God forbid her landlord reads this”), whose story will have you shouting, “Wahala no dey finish!”
Jimmy Fallon

So, Amaka, how did you end up in this generator saga?

Amaka: Ehn, it all started when NEPA decided to flex their usual nonsense. I was minding my business, grinding small work-from-home hustle—when gbam, no light. I checked my fridge, and I could already hear the chicken I bought from Itedo market begging me to do something.

But the real twist? My gen was acting like a Lagos sugar daddy—too old and too tired to function. I yanked and yanked till my hand nearly fell off, but nothing. That’s when I saw my landlord’s small red generator peeking at me from the corner of the backyard.

Interviewer: Wait, you just took it?

Amaka: Omo, I didn’t think too much about it. I assumed he wasn’t using it, and I swear I planned to return it after two hours. I even said, “God, I hope this man is a deep sleeper.” Everything was going smoothly. Until…

Interviewer: Until what? Don’t tell me it broke down?

Amaka: (laughs nervously) Worse. Around 1 a.m., the gen started coughing like an asthmatic patient. Then boom—it offed itself. I tried everything: hitting it, sweet-talking it. Nothing worked. I panicked and dragged the gen back to where I found it. The next morning, the landlord showed up at my door, shouting, “Who touched my generator?!”

Interviewer: Omo! What did you do?

Amaka: Ah, I denied it with my full chest! But Blessing, the compound broadcaster, the witch, opened her big mouth and said, “Amaka was the last person outside last night.” That’s when the landlord said, “Okay, I’ll go and check the CCTV footage.”

Interviewer: He has CCTV? In this economy?

Amaka: That was my exact thought! My heart left my body. I knew I was finished. As he walked away, I told myself, “Amaka, pack your load!” Before he came back, I was already climbing okada with my box of clothes.

Interviewer: (laughing) So, where are you now?

Amaka: Hiding in my cousin’s house in Surulere. My phone is on airplane mode because the landlord has been calling non-stop. I even saw a missed call from one of those community vigilante numbers. Me, I’m just praying he forgets about me.

Interviewer: Any regrets?

Amaka: Regrets? Plenty! First, I regret trusting Blessing. That girl is a snitch. Second, I regret not buying my own gen during Black Friday. But most of all, I regret not moving out of that compound earlier. This landlord has wahala on top wahala.

Interviewer: (laughing) Amaka, your story is wild! Any advice for our readers?

Amaka: Yes o. If NEPA shows you pepper, don’t touch another person’s gen. And if your landlord has CCTV, just carry your cross and stay humble.


Now that you’ve read this chaotic confession, we want to hear yours! Have you ever been caught in a generator drama or compound wahala? Drop your stories in the comments or share this with your partner-in-crime! Omo, don’t let us laugh alone!


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If you love thrilling near-disaster stories, check out Confessions & Close Calls.


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