How It All Began
It was a regular Friday evening, and my best friend Chike had dragged me to a lounge in Lekki that screamed high class. As someone who preferred pepper soup joints to fancy cocktails, I already felt out of place. But Chike, ever the hype man, waved it off.
“Bro, just trust me. It’ll be vibes.”
Spoiler alert: it was chaos.
The ‘Famous Face’ Moment
We hadn’t been there five minutes when a random guy leaned over from the next table. “No way,” he said, squinting at me like I was a magic eye puzzle. “Are you not Tolu Vibes, the skit maker?”
Tolu Vibes? First of all, I don’t even look like him. Second, my acting skills are as wooden as a poorly made cane chair. I was about to correct him when Chike interrupted.
“Of course, he’s Tolu Vibes!” he said, slapping me on the back like a proud manager. “Can’t you see the swag?”
I glared at Chike, but the damage was done.
The Perks of Pretending
“Big fan, bro!” the guy said, grinning as he called over his friends. “Let me buy you a drink!”
Before I knew it, a waiter arrived with an entire bottle of champagne. Chike leaned in, whispering, “Just play along. Free drinks, bro!”
So, against my better judgment, I raised my glass and said, “To vibes!” which somehow solidified my fake celebrity status.
Fame Spreads Fast
Word spread like wildfire. Within minutes, people from other tables were walking over, asking for selfies. Someone even asked for my autograph.
“How do I sign an autograph?” I hissed to Chike.
“Just scribble something cool,” he replied, enjoying my misery far too much. So I wrote, Stay vibing – Tolu Vibes, which, in hindsight, sounds like something you’d find on a knockoff T-shirt.
The Curveball
Things were going well (read: dangerously out of control) when the DJ announced over the speakers, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special guest in the house tonight! Give it up for Tolu Vibes!”
The crowd erupted in cheers. My soul left my body.
“Chike, what have you done?” I whispered.
He laughed, already pulling out his phone to record my downfall.
The Live Performance Request
A mic appeared in my hand out of nowhere. “We’d love to hear something from you!” someone shouted.
Now, here’s the thing: I’ve watched Tolu Vibes’ skits, but could I perform one? Absolutely not. I stared at the crowd, the mic suddenly feeling heavier than my life choices.
“Uh… I don’t perform live,” I stammered. “I save my energy for, uh, online content.”
The crowd laughed and clapped like I’d just told the joke of the century. Somehow, my awkwardness had been mistaken for comedic genius.
The Inevitable Downfall
Just when I thought I was safe, disaster struck. A group walked in, and guess who was with them? The real Tolu Vibes. My heart stopped.
“Bro,” Chike whispered, eyes wide. “The real deal just showed up.”
As Tolu scanned the room, his gaze locked on me. For a second, I thought he’d march over and call me out. Instead, he smirked, clearly amused by the chaos.
The Escape Plan
“I need to leave. Now,” I told Chike.
“Relax,” he replied. “You can’t just dip. That’s suspicious.”
Before I could argue, Tolu himself walked over. “Nice to meet you,” he said, extending a hand. His voice was calm, but the twinkle in his eye screamed mischief.
“You too,” I managed, my palms sweating. “Big fan.”
“Likewise,” he said, before adding, “You’ve got guts.”
As we exchanged awkward smiles, Chike jumped in. “What a coincidence! Two Tolus in one place!”
The room filled with laughter, and I used the distraction to slip away, grabbing Chike by the arm.
Lessons from Fake Fame
- Pretending to be famous is fun until the real celebrity shows up.
- Never trust your hype-man friend. They will sell you out for entertainment.
- If you’re going to fake it, always have an exit strategy.
For more thrilling near-disaster stories, check out Confessions & Close Calls.
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