Picture this: It’s a rainy Monday morning in Lagos. You’ve just spilled coffee on your white shirt, missed your bus, and Spotify decides it’s the perfect time to play “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. Excuse me, what happy?!

That’s where the Emotional Support Playlist Curator (ESPC) comes in—a genius (and very real-ish) solution for people whose lives deserve soundtracks that actually match the vibe.

Whether you’re crying over your crush or just need to strut down Lekki Bridge feeling like a Nollywood superstar, ESPCs make sure the music fits the moment.

a gif meme of a dog vibing

The Job Breakdown
An ESPC isn’t just someone with a Spotify Premium account—they’re the vibe architects you never knew you needed. Their job? To curate playlists that feel so personal you’d think they hacked into your diary.

Here’s how they work their magic:

  1. Vibe Analysis:
    It starts with a deep dive into your emotional state. Are you in your “I hate everyone, but I hate myself the most” era? Or maybe it’s “Nobody can kill my vibe, not even my landlord asking for rent”?
  2. Song Matching:
    ESPCs have an uncanny ability to dig out the perfect songs, from bops that slap harder than your mum’s slippers to sad tunes that’ll make you cry so much you feel cleansed.
  3. Mood Optimization:
    It’s not just about matching your feelings; it’s about elevating them. Your breakup playlist? It starts with heartbreak anthems and ends with “revenge glow-up jams.” That’s the kind of emotional arc these curators deliver.

Meet Simi, a Playlist Powerhouse
Simi, a 26-year-old ESPC from Lagos, started her career after realizing she was the go-to person for all her friends’ vibe emergencies.

My roommate once called me at 1 a.m. crying about her ex who left her for a girl with ‘more aesthetic Instagram stories.’ I made her a playlist called ‘Men Are Trash, but You’re Diamond.’

By the next morning, she was posting thirst traps with Brent Faiyaz in the background. That’s when I knew this could be a career.

Today, Simi has clients across Nigeria and beyond. Her playlists are legendary. Some of her greatest hits include:

  • “Soft Life, Hard Guy”
  • “Japa Jams: The Official Passport Soundtrack”
  • “This Job is Ghetto, But So Am I”
shrek smirk

Why Does This Job Exist?
If you’re wondering why someone would pay for playlists, the answer is simple: not everyone has good taste.

  1. Music Makes the Moment:
    Imagine proposing to your crush, and the playlist accidentally shuffles to “Break Your Heart” by Taio Cruz. That’s an ESPC failure. Don’t let it be you.
  2. Life is Dramatic AF:
    Whether you’re dodging danfo drivers or surviving your mum’s “So, when will you marry?” question, every Nigerian knows life is a movie. An ESPC just adds the soundtrack.
  3. People Are Busy:
    Between Lagos traffic and work stress, who has time to scroll through endless playlists? Simi does it for you, so you can focus on being the main character.

How Much Do ESPCs Charge?
If you think this luxury is for the 1%, think again. Simi’s rates are as follows:

  • Basic Playlist: N15k for 30 songs tailored to your vibe.
  • Premium Package: N25k for a deluxe playlist with transitions, rare gems, and voice notes hyping you up between tracks.
  • On-Demand Services: N10k extra for emergency “I need a playlist NOW” situations.

One time, a client paid me N50k to make a 3-hour playlist for his gym crush. He said she liked ‘Afrobeats with a sprinkle of heartbreak.’ They’re dating now. You’re welcome, bro.

ESPCs: The Future of Music Jobs
This isn’t just a side hustle; it’s a cultural revolution. Imagine a world where your bad days are uplifted by perfect playlists, and your good days are immortalized in vibes.

Simi even dreams of expanding the industry:

I want ESPCs to be in every city, like Uber. You book us, we curate your life’s soundtrack, and boom—you’re unstoppable.

With Gen Z’s obsession with customization and emotional wellness, ESPCs could be the next big thing. After all, why settle for random songs when your vibe deserves bespoke beats?

Final Thoughts
The Emotional Support Playlist Curator isn’t just a job—it’s a vibe philosophy. It’s about recognizing that your feelings matter enough to deserve their own soundtrack.

So, next time you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just need to feel like a star, remember: there’s an ESPC out there ready to create your perfect playlist. Hire one now and thank us later when your life starts feeling like a Grammy-winning music video.

Waittttt Feel More Crackko Gbedu:

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