I Found Out My Best Friend Was My Father’s Side Chick – Read That Again

Let me just start by saying, if my life was a Nollywood movie, this would be the scene where the camera does a full 360° spin around me while dramatic music plays.

But let’s rewind.

So, my best friend Lisa and I? Ride or die. Gossip partners. Jollof and Plantain. We knew each other’s crushes, passwords, and even the weird dreams where your teeth fall out. That kind of bestie.

Then one fateful day, the universe—aka my WiFi connection—betrayed me.

THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Lisa and I were chilling when she asked, “Can I use your phone? My battery is dead.”

No wahala. I handed it over.

Then her phone buzzed on the table. Normally, I wouldn’t snoop, but I saw the name on the screen…

“Big Daddy ❤️.”

Something in my spirit shifted. My gut told me to mind my business, but my ancestors said, “No o, click it.”

So I did.

And that’s when I saw the message that ENDED my childhood, broke my soul, and made me consider applying for Canadian citizenship all at once.

Big Daddy ❤️: “Last night was amazing. Same time this weekend? 😘”

HOLD UP. SAME TIME WHERE? SAME TIME WHO??

My hands were shaking as I scrolled up.

I saw receipts. FULL. ON. RECEIPTS. Dates. Hotel bookings. Love messages.

And then, the final kill shot:

A bank transfer notification from MY FATHER’S NAME.

Omo. I nearly gave up the ghost.

THE WINDOWS XP LOADING SCREEN IN MY HEAD

I swear my spirit left my body. My brain was like a buffering DSTV channel. E be like say I dey dream.

Meanwhile, Lisa was still holding my phone like nothing happened.

“Are you okay?” she asked. The AUDACITY.

Me: “I wan faint.”

But instead of fainting, I did the most Nigerian thing ever—I put my phone in my pocket and acted like I saw nothing.

WHY? Because I needed to gather evidence first. A whole FBI agent. My inner detective switched ON like The Neps during elections.

CONFIRMATION DAY AKA MY OFFICIAL VILLAGE PEOPLE VISITATION

I don’t know why, but I decided to pretend everything was fine. (Spoiler alert: It was NOT fine.)

I told Lisa I had a family event on Saturday and couldn’t hang out. She said, “That’s perfect! I’m going on a date anyway.”

With who? JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH??

I smiled. But inside, I was calculating like WAEC maths.

THE FINAL BLOW: WHEN DESTINY SAID “YOU WILL KNOW THE TRUTH TODAY”

That Saturday, I did what any normal person would do—I followed Lisa.

No shame. No regrets. Just vibes and trauma.

Long story short? She entered a restaurant, and five minutes later, guess who walked in grinning like someone who just won Baba Ijebu?

MY FATHER. MY OWN PAPA.

Omo. I almost deleted myself from planet Earth.

They sat down, laughing, touching hands, ordering food like it wasn’t the actual devil’s picnic.

Meanwhile, I was across the street, holding my phone like a Nollywood villain about to drop exposé screenshots.

THE CONFRONTATION: AKA WHEN LISA KNEW SHE HAD CHOPPED HER LAST AMALA IN MY PRESENCE

I walked into the restaurant like an Avengers character entering the final battle.

Lisa’s eyes scanned my face, and for a split second, I saw her soul ESCAPE HER BODY.

My father looked up, confused.

Me: “Good afternoon, Daddy. Hope you’re enjoying your date?”

The silence? DEAFENING.

Lisa stammered. My father stammered. Even the waiter stammered and he wasn’t involved.

I didn’t even need to say anything else. I just took my phone out, took a picture of them, and left.

Did my mum find out? Ohhh she did. And let’s just say, Lisa stopped being my best friend and started being a national case study on what not to do.

THE PLOT TWIST: AS IN, THE FINAL “LIFE SAID HOLD MY BEER” MOMENT

Just when I thought this story couldn’t get any worse…

A few weeks later, I got a DM from another girl in our circle:

“Omo, I just found out Lisa is dating MY DAD too.”

At that point, I knew Lisa wasn’t just a side chick. She was an entire community development project.

MORAL OF THE STORY?

1️⃣ Trust nobody.
2️⃣ If your best friend starts buying iPhones mysteriously, investigate.
3️⃣ If you ever feel like your life is peaceful, just check your father’s WhatsApp messages.

And lastly…

4️⃣ Always be ready. Because life? LIFE WILL SHOW YOU PEPPER.

Hey Luv, Wait. Feel More Crackko Vibe:

If you love thrilling near-disaster stories, check out Confessions & Close Calls.