I Went for Puff-Puff and Left with Trauma (and Laughter)
It was supposed to be a chill day—cute baby gifts, sugary small chops, and aunties gossiping about who wore what. Instead, my cousin Teni’s baby shower turned into an unscripted Nollywood blockbuster.
Picture this: flying handbags, wigs doing somersaults, and two gele-clad gladiators squaring off in a battle so wild it deserves its own AMVCA nomination. All because of a baby shower trivia game.
Act I: The Calm Before the Chaos
Everything started out fine. Teni was glowing—glowing so much that one auntie leaned in to whisper, “Are you sure it’s not twins?” The house was decked out in pastel everything, the drinks were colder than Lekki rent prices, and the small chops were endless.
I was knee-deep in puff-puff and cocktail sausages when the MC grabbed the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s play some games!” The aunties squealed with excitement like they’d just heard K1 de Ultimate was coming to the neighborhood.
Act II: The Question That Broke the Room
The game was simple: answer questions about Teni’s life. Easy, right? Wrong.
Everything was fine until the MC threw out a wildcard: “What’s Teni’s most unforgettable moment?”
Aunt Funke pounced like she’d been training for this moment her whole life. “When she fell into the gutter at her wedding introduction!” she announced, laughing like it wasn’t national embarrassment she’d just exposed.
The room erupted. Even Teni was laughing nervously, probably wondering if she could ever look her husband’s family in the eye again.
But then Aunt Sade, with the poise of someone who’d just been disrespected on a molecular level, chimed in: “That’s not true. Her most unforgettable moment was when NYSC rejected her and she cried for two days straight.”
The laughter stopped. Teni froze, looking like she wanted to teleport out of her own baby shower.
And then it came—the insult that set everything ablaze. Aunt Funke smirked and said, “At least my children didn’t repeat SS2.”
Act III: When Aunties Attack
You know that moment when everyone collectively realizes things are about to go south? That was it. Aunt Sade shot up from her chair like Beyoncé was calling her on stage.
“At least my daughter didn’t marry a man who can’t even afford real gold!” she shouted, gesturing wildly.
Gasps filled the room. The babies cried. The MC froze, microphone mid-air. Aunt Funke, not one to back down, grabbed a throw pillow, ready for battle.
Before anyone could intervene, Aunt Sade’s handbag became a projectile. Aunt Funke dodged it with a precision that screamed, “I’m ready for this life!” What followed was pure chaos: flying drinks, toppled chairs, and wigs in places wigs had no business being.
Act IV: The Nollywood Climax
Uncle Jide, a man who thrives on chaos, whipped out his phone and started live-streaming. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Auntie Royal Rumble,” he announced dramatically, zooming in on Aunt Sade lunging at Aunt Funke with a plastic plate.
Meanwhile, poor Teni sat frozen, her baby bump shaking with suppressed laughter. She tried to yell, “Stop it!” but it came out as a wheeze.
The fight only ended when Teni’s husband walked in, whistled sharply, and yelled, “What is wrong with you people?!”
The aunties paused mid-swing, their geles askew, and muttered half-hearted apologies.
Act V: The Aftermath
Once the dust settled, the aunties pretended like nothing had happened. Aunt Funke adjusted her blouse. Aunt Sade picked up her handbag. The MC tried to salvage the mood, awkwardly announcing, “Time for gifts!”
Teni just sighed, grabbed a puff-puff, and muttered, “I’m never inviting them to anything again.”
Reflection: Every Family Has Its WrestleMania
Nigerian family events are like Pandora’s box: you open them hoping for good vibes but end up with drama, side-eyes, and a baby shower turned street fight.
The real lesson? Never underestimate aunties. They might wear gele, but they’re always ready to throw hands—and handbags—when provoked.
That moment when you wave back at someone who wasn’t waving at you. If you love cringe-worthy fails, you’ll find more in our Ultimate Cringe section.
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