Imagine this: You’re waiting for your friend. They told you “I’m almost there” 45 minutes ago. Your food is getting cold. You check their location.

They are still at home. At this point, are they even coming, or are you just a character in their imagination?

Welcome to the great Nigerian time scam—a beautifully orchestrated illusion where “I’m on my way” actually means “I’m about to start bathing”. But why do Nigerians do this? Let’s break it down.

1. The Optimism Bias—A.K.A. The Delusion of Speed

Psychologists say humans tend to overestimate their speed and underestimate travel time. Nigerians? We take this to premium levels. If a journey takes 30 minutes, our brain tells us it’s “like 10 minutes max”—and so, we confidently say “I’m almost there” while still trying to find our slippers.

This is the same energy that makes us believe we can leave home at 7:45 AM for an 8:00 AM meeting in VI traffic and still make it. Delulu is the solulu.

2. The African Time Mentality—Time is Just Vibes

Nigerians have a flexible relationship with time. We see it as a guideline, not a deadline. That’s why weddings that are supposed to start at 12 PM don’t really start until 3 PM (and why the bride might still be getting dressed at 1:30 PM).

Deadlines? Advisory. Meeting times? A suggestion. The real Nigerian time measurement? Whenever everybody finally arrives.

3. Traffic Trauma—The Perfect Excuse

Nigerian roads are like a video game where the obstacles include potholes, danfo drivers, and random cows blocking the road. Traffic is the ultimate “get out of jail free” card. If you’re running late, just blame it on Third Mainland Bridge traffic. No one will question it. Even if you live in Ibadan.

4. The Cultural Psychology of Making People Feel Better

Saying “I’m almost there” makes everyone feel good. The person waiting is reassured. The person lying feels less guilty. It’s a mutual suspension of disbelief—a social contract where we all pretend not to know the truth. Because saying “I haven’t even left” feels like an attack. Why break hearts when you can just lie with love?

5. The Ultimate Nigerian Latecomer Starter Pack

If you’re Nigerian and you’re late, you already know the script:
✅ “Give me 5 minutes” (Translation: I haven’t started getting ready).
✅ “I’m at the junction” (Translation: I’m still in my house).
✅ “There was mad traffic” (Translation: I left home 30 minutes late).
✅ “I’m outside” (Translation: I just left my house).
✅ “I dey come” (Translation: Only God knows when I’ll get there).

How Do Other Cultures Handle This?

While Nigerians are professionals at time bending, other cultures handle lateness differently:

  • Germans: Arriving even 2 minutes late is a crime against humanity.
  • British people: Arrive on time but complain about how much they hate arriving on time.
  • Americans: Show up 10 minutes early and act like they own the place.
  • Nigerians: Start getting ready at the meeting’s official start time.

The Final Test: How Nigerian Are You?

Which one do you say the most? 👀 Drop your most used late excuse in the comments.

And if you have that one friend who always lies about their location, tag them. It’s time for their public apology tour. 😏

Categorized in:

Big Brain Energy

Tagged in: